The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
I can live for two months on a good compliment.
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.
A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
We have the best government that money can buy.
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
Necessity is the mother of taking chances.
Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.
There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.
When in doubt tell the truth.
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.
Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.
When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.
I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping.
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.
Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.'
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.